


Ornaments

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Body Image, Other, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 17:16:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11086248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Inspired by Mrs. Potato Head by Melanie Martinez.Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Ornaments

Most of the time, Penelope Garcia walked around in a state of perpetual peppiness - always spreading the joy to others despite the depravity she saw on her screens. Whenever she could, she was ensuring that everyone around her felt like the beautiful, wonderful light that they were, and while she had others willing to do the same in return, she never believed it. Why?

Well, that’s what happens when you’re brought up in a society that touts a certain body type, face, nose, eyes, hair - as beautiful. Penelope had the blonde hair that was looked on as the be-all and end-all of beauty, but other than that, she had nothing. Her eyes weren’t as piercing as JJ’s, her face not as striking as Prentiss, she definitely didn’t have the body of either one either. No, she was always the wingman, never the wanted.

Both of her friends would hate hearing her compare herself to them, but she couldn’t help it, because saw them as beautiful and desirable, and at best, she was seen as the quirky best friend. With limited funds to fix what she believed needed fixing professionally, she turned to makeup, clothes, bright colors, anything to distract from the things that she hated about herself when she looked in the mirror. Honestly, even if she had had the money, she probably wouldn’t go through with anything because she was afraid - afraid that no matter what she did or how she looked, she would never truly love herself, because after all, she’d grown up believing these things, how was the supposed to rewire her brain now?

If you weren’t born with it  
You can buy a couple ornaments  
Just be sure to read the warning, kids  
‘Cause pretty soon you’ll be bored of it  
Sexual, hey girl if you wanna feel sexual  
You can always call up a professional  
They stick pins in you like a vegetable

When she thought about how fucked up her thought processes were, she lost hope for herself. The only thing she could do was foster a better way of thinking in her godchildren. Never did she want any of them to grow up believing they were anything less than perfect. 

As she got her makeup ready that morning, she pulled the skin around her eyes back, wondering what she might look like if she were truly beautiful - if she felt beautiful at least. Forevermore, she’d be using her plethora of makeup to blot away the imperfections. It was the only chance she had to feel like she belonged. 

Kids forever, kids forever  
Baby soft skin turns into leather  
Don’t be dramatic it’s only some plastic  
No one will love you if you’re unattractive

That was the other thing, wasn’t it? Not only were the thoughts always lurking in the back of her mind, but it had to be lurking in the minds of others, right? She was convinced it was her sparkling personality that drew the few men she’d had in her life to her. It couldn’t possibly be for her looks. She didn’t have them. Whenever she went out with friends, she was the quirky sidekick that got asked to hand over a phone number to Emily or JJ, because men felt comfortable going up to her and asking - she had to be the friend, right? There was no way she was actually out with her friends hoping to pick up someone to love on her own. Who would want her?

It’s such a waste  
When little girls grow into their mother’s face  
But little girls are learning how to cut and paste  
And pucker up their lips until they suffocate

Correction, the reason she’d never do anything plastic surgery related, at least on her face, wasn’t because she was afraid she’d never be happy. Anything had to be better than this. The reason she couldn’t do it is because for the first 18 years of her life, she’d been told she looked a lot like her mother. 

After losing her, and her father, how could she change what she looked like and lose the last possible physical connection she had to her parents. If she changed herself, wouldn’t that mean that she hated what her parents looked like? She’d rather hate herself for the rest of her life than betray her parents’ memories like that.

Oh Mrs. Potato Head tell me  
Is it true that pain is beauty?  
Does a new face come with a warranty?  
Will a pretty face make it better?

No. She was wired this way now. This would just be the way it was.


End file.
